Temptations post engagement [Man-Woman]
0 Comments | Times of India, The, Jan 6, 2009 | by VERMA, RITU
Here’s a lowdown at some common temptations that nag you pre wedding
You’ve recently got engaged and are eagerly awaiting the realisation of your dreams. The sense of security a lasting commitment brings is matchless; you’re feeling ecstatic and are pre-occupied with future plans. But, even as you start gearing up for a new life, you start experiencing a nagging sense of worry about the future.
“Marriage is one decision you can’t afford to go wrong with. Thoughts of being with the same person throughout your life makes people nervous, especially in a love marriage,” admits Delhi based copywriter, Nisha Awasthi.
Dr Anu Goel, a relationship counselor explains, “The fear of sacrificing your present lifestyle makes many people go weak in their knees. Suddenly, several things that didn’t interest them previously, seem attractive now. Once you are out of the dream stage of showing off that big rock on your finger, you may encounter several temptations and the unfulfillment may lead to a great deal of disappointment.” Here’s a lowdown at some common temptations that nag you pre wedding
Desire to cheat! No bird watching, no flings! It’s not only men who find the idea of lifelong commitment hard to digest. The new age women also get equally anxious by the thought. Though you might not have cheated on your guy before, but post commitment you might be tempted to take a plunge. Your sexual chemistry has nothing to do with this temptation it’s just that once you enter a commitment other men are forbidden fruit for you.
Shreya Das, a media person says, “I am getting hitched soon and recently I threw a bash to celebrate the occasion. It was the first time since my engagement that I was partying without my guy and had all the chance to flirt and get sloshed. There was one guy there and I just couldn’t keep my eyes off him. We were quite close while dancing and the scent of his aftershave was driving me closer towards him. I really wanted to go ahead with him that night but my engagement ring held me back. I’ve never got attracted to a stranger earlier. May be when you know that you are not supposed to pay attention to a hunk, you get tempted towards them.”
Expert view: Dr Goel suggests, “Once you get engaged, the degree of commitment in a relationship increases. But that doesn’t mean your sexual desires and fancies vanish at once. It’s human nature that to crave for something we can’t have. If you sit down and think about all the lusty dreams you have, you will realise that they are just in your head, not necessarily in your heart. You would still like to belong to your beloved. But one shouldn’t let these fantasies overtake his/her intellect.”
Also read: Are you really together? Marital woes? Here’s help Looking for an Indian spouse? Married to a workaholic? Here’s help Decode your lover’s body language Too much commitment can boomerang Why people cheat on their partners? Missing ‘Me’ Time You get a glimpse of your future life in the courtship period. Since getting to know your beau and his family becomes vital in this phase, you might end up sabotaging your personal plans for meeting your future in-laws or going out with your partner’s not so interesting friends and cousins.
Radhika Sahay, an IT professional says, “Be it a late night party or outdoor vacation my parents do not say no to me now. As they know my fiancee would accompany me everywhere. Though I love this new found freedom, but at the same time I miss ‘Me’ time. Missing a sleepover at a friend’s place because of work didn’t bother me much, but when I have to do it for my extended family, I feel guilty about it. Be it an office party or a friend’s get together, before finalising anything I have to check my plans with my fiancee and his family.”
Expert view: Dr Surbhi Soni, a relationship counselor opines, “The transition from a girl to a woman is not child’s play. Panicking and cribbing about your new responsibilities is easy, but learning to mange everything skillfully is easier
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